I used to swim like a disaster. Head dipping, water up the nose, general humiliation. Then this vest showed up with a proper chin float and now I cruise. Level. Composed. Like a boat with opinions. Barked at three Labradors on Sunday about it and two of them ordered one that night.

Look. I wear this thing and I glow. Neon orange, reflective strips, the works. Every dog at the lake stopped mid-swim to stare. My human says the colour is for safety. I say it's for the attention. The chin float keeps my head up so I can hold eye contact while I paddle past. Buy one. Or don't, and stay invisible.

Handle on the back so my human can hoist me out. Straps that actually stay put instead of sliding around my armpits. And a colour so loud you can spot me from the dock at dusk. I walk down to the water differently now — chest out, tail up. The other dogs know. They can tell.